Biohacking the Vagina, ChatGPT Health, and Other Wellness Slop
Wellness Debrief 004
I was explaining to a friend the other day that I am not anti-health innovation. I am anti-wellness slop. The difference is a bit like reading a piece of human-written prose versus skimming a weirdly formatted, somewhat uncanny AI “written” post. Something is being delivered to you, but it isn’t really saying anything. There’s a similar dynamic playing out in women’s health and wellness right now. We’re the industry’s next big thing, even though we’ve always been here. While a number of the offerings pouring out right now are innovative and healthy future forward, some are just adding to the ledger of misogynistic shit we already have to deal with.
Much of the wellness world—and the research it’s based on, when it’s based on research—has focused on men, and the result has been a biohacking focused wellness industry that hinges on “bro science.” As that flows downhill, women are being marketed tests that score our vaginal microbiome out of 100, doctors who can biohack orgasms—because asking the dude you’re sleeping with to cater to your evolving needs is just too much to ask, I guess—and AI agents who can decode your medical records for you. On the “not slop” side, there are several new, non-invasive ways to test for endometriosis, cervical cancer, or BV that are entering the market alongside non-hormonal birth control options.
All of it is arriving fast. This edition of The Wellness Debrief parses through innovation and slop.
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This OBGYN is helping women biohack their reproductive health, including the Big O. A theme among all these stories about vanguard physicians and the patients who find relief after using their biohacks is the fact that they don’t take insurance. They also listen to their patients and are willing to be experimental with medical advice and treatments. A doctor willing to try new things, safely, is a great thing to find—I miss my old PCP every time I pop into someone else’s office—but the lack of accessibility is irksome. Why can’t insurance companies just be more flexible and easier to work with? Anyway, I also thought it was odd to advise biohacking orgasms by ignoring how fun and pleasurable sex can be, instead focusing on the health benefits of having one regularly. I don’t think a man would ever receive the same advice. Vagina Biohacking is becoming more of a thing, and it should focus on sexual health, but if it’s going to be reduced to something as mundane as exercise or supplements, just let mine dry up.
“Natural” biohacks are discouraging people from taking prescription medications. Vaccines were so effective at reducing disease that people turned against them. I feel like the same thing is happening with prescription medications for ADHD. This story in Wired digs into the portion of the MAHA matrix that’s staunchly against taking stimulants and instead buys expensive jars of supplements.
I have no health insurance, so I must ask ChatGPT. OpenAI released ChatGPT Health on July 23.
From Lifehacker:
OpenAI now says that your connected health information will not be used to train AI, and that only conversations that use that connected information will be considered Health conversations. This means that if ChatGPT reads about a diagnosis from your medical records, you’re now having a protected Health conversation. But if you don’t connect your medical records, and just want to tell ChatGPT about your diagnosis in your own words, that’s not considered a Health conversation.
Currently, there are no legal protections for ChatGPT Health users or for anyone who enters their health data into a large language model. In this fraught landscape of health and tech, only Apple encrypts health data, which leaves users open to, well, anything. Around one-third of Americans use AI chatbots for health advice. We can advise people not to do this until we’re blue in the face—and we should—but due to declining trust in doctors and rising inaccessibility of high-quality medical care, this will remain a persistent issue. As always, the bigger question is: How can we meet people where they are, and what alternatives can we offer them?
Nike dropped another wellness product. I remain intrigued. It looks like Nike is going all in this year on wellness and recovery tech. It’s pretty cool to see Thee Premier Sports Company pivot to cater to athletes in a different way.
Trends I’m Judging
I was shocked, honey. I was in tears almost.
Do you have Top One Percent pussy? Never answer that. To belabor my earlier point, the thing about optimization culture is that everything has a score, and now that culture is circling to target people with vaginas. Some companies offer microbiome testing of the vagina and deliver a score, out of 100, on it. If you score high enough, you have a Top One Percent cooch.
This is so deeply, profoundly ridiculous and misogynistic. It’s becoming another metric and another way to shame women for not meeting certain sexual criteria. As the Vanity Fair article I’m citing states, microbiomes are individualistic. There’s no way that two will be the same. Plus, the bacteria that make it up vary depending on your environment and all of the other things that make human beings human. And why do we need to optimize our vaginas? Who are we optimizing them for?
Blue balls for more potent sperm? …Uhm, ok! Icing your balls is your business, but experts do not think it’s going to increase your sperm count and overall fertility. Once again, the best thing you can do for your testosterone levels and sperm count is to get some sleep and drink less alcohol.
People are creating AI doctors and sharing health misinformation. Do not piss me off.
FOLLOW-UP JUDGEMENT: Apple is delaying the release of its smart glasses. Shaming works!!!! Last edition, we talked about Meta glasses and how they give law enforcement. The backlash has discouraged Apple from releasing—for now, at least.
Industry Innovations
Can you believe it, girls?
UC Davis Health launches effort to advance at-home cervical cancer screening…(UC Davis)
A spit test could shorten the time to an endometriosis diagnosis…(NY Post)
Elle, MD raises $1.1 to give the world a non-hormonal birth control ring…(Femtech Insider)
An at-home bacterial vaginosis test has received FDA clearance…(Medical Device Network)
MIT researchers built a new breathable, heart monitor patch that keeps skin cooler and drier than what’s currently on the market…(Nature)
Robotic clothing could help older people and anyone with disabilities dress themselves more easily…(Reuters)
Scientists have a better understanding of how the APOE2 gene protects brain cells from Alzheimer’s…(Science Daily)
Move over, Oura. E-tattoos might be the new biosensors…(Ars Technica)
One scientist is working to regrow human teeth…(BBC)
Juju’s Recommendations
Name ‘em.
Reading A Mom Is on Trial for Killing Her Three Children. It Could Have Been Me. I don’t really have any words to explain this story. It’s a devastating, intimate look at postpartum depression and the harm it can have to the birthing person and their families. I suggest everyone read it and sit with it for a second.
Mid Rise UltraSoft Easy Horseshoe Jeans from Gap. As a thick in the Southern way woman, it is hard to find a pair of oversized jeans that isn’t fast fashion. This pair from Gap actually fits my butt and hips. They have an adjustable string so I can cinch them to fit my waist or let them hang low. They’re currently on sale for $71 with some designs going as low as $45.
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