What’s In, What’s Out: The Living A Better Life Resources Edition

I want us all to focus on building a life that feels good to live.

Aug 05, 2025

I don’t know if you remember the In/Out lists that made rounds on social media at the end of 2023 and 2024, but I think about them often. What I loved so much about them was how many of us were pushing out constant optimization in favor of a softer way of being.

Let’s be honest: “Living your best life” has started to feel like a full-time job. Between perfecting your morning routine, drinking homemade electrolyte water, and curating a nervous system-friendly home—whatever that means—it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel like you’re falling short. This list is a soft reminder that, at its core, wellness is about tuning into what actually supports you, not what looks impressive on the internet.

Health-Oriented Ins and Outs

IN: Walking more throughout the day.

OUT: Scrolling for hours on end. Reducing your smartphone use can make you feel better: A study where people blocked internet access on their smartphones for two weeks found that 91 percent of the 467 participants reported better mental health, well-being, and attention spans after the break. There was also a decrease in depressive symptoms.

IN: Bedtime routines and rituals that feel cozy and sustainable.

OUT: A 13-step skincare routine. Too many products can irritate your barrier, waste your money, and stress you out.

IN: Looking nice for every occasion—including a trip to the grocery store.

OUT: Not caring about how you present yourself to the world. I’m not saying you need to obsess over how you look, but you should consider getting out of the sweats and putting on some linen pants instead. Maybe throw on your jewelry, a little eyeliner, and a lip gloss you love. When you invest that type of effort into yourself, it spills over into your mental health.

IN: Hydrating and eating a protein and fiber-rich meal in the morning.

OUT: Skipping meals. I don’t need to explain why you should eat enough food to sustain yourself.

IN: Treating rest as mandatory.

OUT: Pushing through until your body forces you to stop. Rest isn’t a luxury or something you “get” after achieving a goal. Rest, especially sleep, is a biological necessity that supports cognition, hormone regulation, recovery, and mood. Ignoring it leads to chronic stress and eventual burnout.

IN: Saying “no” when you’re at capacity.

OUT: Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or people-pleasing. Every “yes” costs you energy. When you override your limits to avoid discomfort or disappointing others, you train yourself to ignore your own needs.

IN: Training to near-failure, or about 80% RPE (rate of perceived exertion).

OUT: Training to complete failure every session. Consistently pushing to failure taxes your nervous system, delays recovery, and can increase injury risk. Training to 70–80% effort leaves room for sustainable lifting and better overall strength gains. I think the best way to train is to the point where you have about two reps left in the tank.

Ins That Bring Me Joy and Outs Where I’ll Be Offering No Explanation

In:

THE DESTINY’S CHILD REUNION
Clipse albums and press runs
Archival footage of Black thinkers from the 60s-90s giving interviews or in conversation with one another
Reading random Wikipedia pages
Carrying a journal in your bag
Physical books
Spending as much time with friends as possible
Summer vegetables
XL bags
NICOLANDRIA
Architectural Digest home tours
20+ minute makeup tutorials

Out:

AI-generated fitness influencers
Resetting your life every 6 months … ENOUGH
Drinking raw milk
Arguing with bigots
Obsessing about aging
The Love Island S7 fandom
Overconsumption
Recording everything on your phone versus enjoying the present moment
Massive run clubs where 30+ people charge down the sidewalk or trail and almost take you out
Excessive packaging of small, non-fragile items